tin-pan-ali:

kuzuryiff:

*sweating profusely*

Somewhere, a brain surgeon wearing Velcro sneakers looks down in shame.
(via weenied, fatdogblog)
teenagemutantninjaloser:

yeah! thanks for killing my mom!
wellisnthatwizard:

hohenheiny:

YOU GUYS
SO I ACTUALLY DID THIS A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK THEY LOOKED AT THIS SORT OF THING SO BY THE TIME THE DELIVERY MAN CAME I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I WROTE THAT AND THE GUY WAS REALLY CUTE. WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR HE WAS SUPER FLUSTERED AND DROPPED HIS PEN, THE BAG HOLDING THE PIZZA AND THE RECEIPTS. THEN after i signed the receipt and he was getting ready to leAVEEEE HE GOES “So… umm… did you actually put that?” and i was like “put what?” and he goes “… to.. um… tell you.. um that you’re pretty” omg it hit me that this was why he was all nervous and i started cracking up omfg then he told me that i was pretty.
ahhh pizza

i did this once but when the guy came to the door I sent my friend Martin to get the pizza and I heard muffled laughter and then Martin came back into the room with the pizza and whispered “he told me I was pretty”
pymparticles:

Yep.

theflippedbird:

animeblows:

In japan instead of saying “I miss you” to loved ones, they say 私はポケモンの音に自慰行為, which roughly translates to “part of me is missing”

image